I’m so grateful
for this little rain that is falling down now. I love rain.
Especially after
months of boiling hot with temperatures higher than ever. 
My childhood was
not of the happiest one. There were 3 generations of us people living under the
same roof. Our was The Drama House.
My very first taught ever was: How did I get
here? Followed by: Who are these people? What am I doing here? What am I here
for? Where am I going to? And I am not exaggerating.
I do not remember me being any other way.
I’m still searching
for all those answers. I never managed to get rid of those questions.
Due to all that
drama circulating in our lives constantly on a daily basis I was a solitary child, I searched
solitude and a place to hide in order to figure out why all those things were going on etc... I was simply feeling much better off that way. No one paid any attention to me anyway.
Rain was my
favorite thing. Any rain, but especially spring or autumn rain. I used to sit
in my parent’s bedroom, all by myself, on my mother’s side of the bed near open
window and stare in that rain for hours and hours and hours... I loved the profound
silence created by the very sound of the rain, it’s wet smell, it’s abundance,
texture and miracle of it. I used to loose myself in that rain and all was
well.
I did not know
that then but now I know that in those moments I was deeply, purely and truly
connected with the Source. That’s why I could feel that warm, silent joy in me
no one else knew about and that I did not have to explain to anyone. All I knew it was so special. It was all
mine. And it was so real.
