Back in
1997 at this very day today my grandfather’s funeral took place. I was not
present at the ceremony as I worked in Italy at that time, and just came back
from my holidays. It was complicated to take time off etc and I knew he would
not mind. He died at the age of 87 after short illness of 2 weeks or so. As
things were progressing rapidly and just less than 3 weeks before he actually
died that I last met him and he was ok, full of life, fun, lough and energy (as
always) my parents stayed quite about what was going on and so I did know
nothing about his illness and his seriously bad conditions. But, somehow, I
could sense it.
Unfortunately we did not have almost any relationship when I was a small child
and we actually hardly knew each other. Yes, we did live in the same village,
but as my grandparents were always at war I was told by my other grandfather (with whom we shared the same roof unlackily) to stay away from him
and my other grandmother, his wife. And so I did. I got close to him as adult
really. Our was a special relationship. It wasn’t grandfather – granddaughter
kind of relationship - not at all. Nor it was kind of strange and twisted
relationship you normally have with your relative. We were just two quiet and
calm people enjoying each other presence with no much words and no need to say
or do stuff in order to entertain one another. We reacted to things and people
the same way and we communicated silently most of the time.
Now, very
end of August 1997: I’m back in Italy, back to my Italian life and it’s
routine, knowing nothing about my grandfather’s conditions. Don’t remember all
details but one night I had a dream that he came to say good bye to me for
good. He actually said: “I just came to see you to say good bye to you as I
have to leave for good.” Then I remember we spread our arms and flew over our
island, over our pretty little bay we both loved and were we spent quite lots
of time fishing together in silence. That flight with our open arms over those
green little islands and that blue sea we both loved and knew so well was so
vivid and so joyful that I still remember it. It was so real. Next morning,
when I woke up I knew it was real and that my grandfather has left us. I knew.
(And I knew I could not explain to others how I knew it! Therefore I decided I
won’t tell anything of that to anyone. It was our special thing, just of two of
us.)
This was
life changing experience for me, as till this very episode I never believed in
anything like this at all. If someone before this told me something similar
happened to them I would really lough my ass off and tell them they are acting
really silly. This was the first time in my life when I had to confess to
myself with no shadow of doubt that yes something out there is real and true,
and I should pay attention to it, whatever it may be. It was very first time I
did not question it, not even for an instant.
Probably I remembered that dream just the same morning and then forgot all about it completely. Never remembered it again, never tough about it... Until I went back home for Christmas, more or less 4 months after he died. I went to visit my grandmother the very first time since he’s gone. It was strange feeling. So, I entered in there and bum all of a sudden the dream came back to me! House was looking deferent but it wasn’t the first time I sow it: it looked exactly as it looked back in that dream when I met there with my grandfather. That very moment, when I actually realised that, it looked to me as I was literally present in two dimensions at the same time, it felt as time stopped or there was no time at all... All that situation lasted maybe just for a few seconds or eaven less but looked like eternity to me. When I asked my grandmother about things from the dream such as Venice map, medicine etc she told me what I already knew.
