Thank You, David

What a Beautiful Day...

Master Mind of Nikola Tesla

Love This!

Tomato, Garlic and Parsley Juice

Summer might be over, but some tomatoes are still around...

I thought these 3 mixed together would make a really healthy drink!

Here we go! (Cheers!)

Inspired by:

WOW!!!

 

“Because if I do it for you I'm doing it for me...”

 

 

 

"You can never go wrong pissed off and rock’n’roll."



 

Signs and Messages

It’s really hard to believe but I’ve just realised that on 02.09.2012. was 20 years of my first visit to England ever! I’ll never forget that day, the English sky, the wind, the scent of England and the feeling when I stepped out of that plane “finally at home”. It was so strange, it was my very first time abroad, my very first time in England, and there I was feeling so overwhelmed with joy and feeling of safety, home and belonging. Straight from the plane, still on the border.

I went to England through some “strange” circumstances, back then I thought all was just strange series of coincidences... Lots of years after I’ve learned that the are no such things as coincidences and that it was all meant to be. Sometimes I wish I knew it already back then. But I didn’t.

My escape to England was created mostly out of desperation I was living and going through for many years, especially for at least one year before travelling itself happened at all. Lots of times in my life I felt so down and so desperate, and that period was the darkest of all, definitely.

So I moved to England with no money at all, no contacts, no plans, nothing at all. I had nothing, and I didn’t fight it. I knew there was nothing to loose and I completely surrendered to it. Now I know that surrender itself was the key of all those beautiful things that happened to me there. I stayed in England for two years. I was born there again (so true!) and I lived for 2 years really, the rest is suffering because of this or that but it’s always something.

England welcomed me and embraced me so dearly from the very first second, that for the whole 2 years I asked my self was I dreaming. I couldn’t believe it was happening to me. “Too good to be true...” sort of mindset.

I left England as I had to, my visa expired, I did try to do something about it but it was all so complicated. I cried at least for the whole month before leaving, every single day, my world was falling apart and I was so lost again. I thought I should move to Italy for a while, learn Italian and continue to be happy there, why not? And so I did. But: as much as Italy was (is) beautiful and all that I did not like it at all. There I was, in beautiful Florence, learning Italian but I hated it, I couldn’t stand it, I missed England, I missed my English friends, I missed Oxford, I missed my life!!! There in Italy I felt into deep depression, I lived there in pain and suffering, complete dark and it was all so unbearable. I developed such depression and desperation. I was overwhelmed by feeling of being homesick for Oxford and England in general, and there was nothing to be done about it. Feeling was more tense and more stronger every day, day by day I was feeling worst and worst.

I was desperate for help, for some answers, but I didn’t know where to ask? How to ask and to whom? There I was with no religious background therefore could not turn to prayer or such as I did not know how to do it and all that seemed so ridiculous to me anyway. I had no clue what should I do to pull myself out of it. I was desperately longing for some answer, some sing from I have no idea whom, I was on the edge. Completely lost and completely hopeless.

Than one evening my Italian landlady who had two little boys I was looking after and led English conversation with came to me handing me one very old English textbook which was her textbook back from her schooldays that were long gone already. She told me to look into and through it, I might find something interesting to teach her boys, you never know. When I was alone again that night I opened up the book on a random page and there was a text that invited me to stop and read it carefully:

When you come back to England from any foreign country, you have immediately the sensation of breathing a different air. Even in the first few minutes dozens of small things conspire to give you this feeling. The beer is bitterer, the coins are heavier, the grass is greener, the advertisements are more blatant. The crowds in the big towns, with their mild knobby faces, their bad teeth and gentle manners, are different from a European crowd. Then the vastness of England swallows you up, and you lose for a while your feeling that the whole nation has a single identifiable character.

And above all, it is your civilization, it is you. However much you hate it or laugh at it, you will never be happy away from it for any length of time. The suet puddings and the red pillar-boxes have entered into your soul. Good or evil, it is yours, you belong to it, and this side the grave you will never get away from the marks that it has given you.

George Orwell, England Your England, published 19 January 1941

OMG!!! I was so stunned while reading those words. I immediately had the sensation that indeed it was someone’s message for me, answer to my suffering, my homesickness for England, someone was watching over me and sent me that book with that particular chapter by George Orwell, in that particular moment I knew I was not alone and was so grateful for it, for the message I got even it was not of the best one, but it was clear and I understood and excepted it as it was and as it came to me.

We are never alone. Signs and messages are always and everywhere around us. All we have to do is to be aware and allow it to reach us. Let it come through.Let it come to us. And trust.

Happy Birthday, Bruce!

It might be 2 days later but it’s never too late to send my best wishes to great, wonderful Bruce. Thank you so very much for your music! I’m so grateful for the joy you provoked and woke up in me. Wishing you all the very best. Lots of love!

 

 

 

 

 

 
 

Nick Vujicic

It’s been a long, long working week again with lots of stress and yet another long working Saturday. I do feel tired so I’ll skip the live spiritual lesson by wonderful Nick Vujicic in person. I’m sure there will be so many people in there to listen to him and I can’t bear with crowd I need some quite time and empty space after intense confusion I’ve been in and through during the last few weeks, especially.

 

 

Thanks God for internet!

 

 

 

Banana, Kiwi, Vanilla, Peach and Cucumber Soap

 

Some days ago, on 6th of September, just before heading for my long work trip I made a new soap!!! It’s curing well, I was so happy when sow it again last night when got in!

 

 

Some nights before my trip I could not sleep and one of those sleepless nights  I just got up and started making soap with what I could find in that very moment. So I used some rather unusual combination of banana, kiwi, vanilla, peach, cucumber and, of course, pure olive oil. OMG, it was such a revealing experience! When we feel urge for creating we should surrender to it, no matter the time.

 

 

Voyage(r)

 

Last night I came back home (home?) at 01:30 am after spending whole afternoon & evening on the airport waiting for the wind to calm down so that the plane can finally take off! I was already exhausted after a long, long working week, including working Saturday (yesterday) as well. After all that working confusion, new faces, new things, that lovely hotel room, my clothes and stuff in who knows which bag now and a lot more I really was looking forward to that plane to take me away, finally... I was supposed to be back home to myself about 9 pm latest, planned to catch up with things still on hold and to have SOME REST at last!... But no!
 

 

 Already in that hotel room I was asking myself of what am I doing, really?!? What am I doing!?!
 

 

I finally got it that my work has become my whole life now. OMG! How that happened!?! My work has taken over everything: I have no time for my friends (do I have any friend left any more, I really wonder?!?), no time for fun, no time for my parents... my bills are piling up as I have no time to pay them, my untidy clothes is piling up as I have no time to wash it, my furniture is full of dust as I have no time to wipe it off, etc, etc...  And I’m underpaid, when I travel for work I have to pay lots of expenses on my own, like taking taxi last night from airport, for example! What else was I supposed to do in the middle of the night when we landed somewhat after 1am?

All that and much more was already cooking in my head back in that hotel room, and I’ve finally realised I have no life at all. It’s not that I’m missing something, but this is just too much and not normal at all. (I-have-no-life.) My reality overwhelmed me in such wave of depression I haven’t felt for ages.

 

 

Actually, last night in that plane I was feeling so strange, all that doing of mine seemed so silly to me, so silly indeed, it’s laughing stuff almost. It would be if another stupid thought do not come to tell me I have to work and so many questions pore in like a flood. There was again that moment when I asked myself what am I doing, what is this desperate night flight to some so called home, for some so called work, but then where is the home, where? Most of the time, after travelling here and there all of my life, I felt as my home is everywhere. Last night I felt as my home is nowhere, and I looked out that plane window out there in the dark and it was all black there up in the sky and just one star was shining bright and I taught I as well am star, we all are, but my light is not shining bright, not any more... Oh, yes, I really wish if this plane falls down now, here in this darkness, wouldn’t it be so nice, so lovely, so beautiful...  

My Freaking Day

G!!!! What a life! I was at office at 07:50am already (we start at 08:00am). To our surprise we had some freaking TV crew entering the building straight after. No one told us it’ll be going on. So we were totally unprepared. That shows what team work (our bosses like to show off with!) we perform in there, Bloody Hell! They were following and bothering us till 18:00pm. By the way we should work till 16:00 pm, but it’s just a bloody lough on all of us, as it’s never 4pm, no matter what! Beside that I was so busy that I had no time to eat, no time for any break at all, and lived on two coffees all day long. Sometime in the middle of the day we were told we’ll have company reunion that should be short one and start at 15:30pm. Oh, yes! In our dreams, maybe. It started at 5pm instead and lasted till 8pm. Total freak show, brain washing, demonstration of power, infliction of Fear, and so on... I watched my smart and hard-working colleagues shrinking under all that dread and distress and the worst possible scenarios of not being considered good enough by supervisors and all that crap. Each and every one of them are doing their best, they work long hours, extended hours no one counts and do not give them any credit for, they are all overwhelmed by the work, they have no private life and are all underpaid. They live in fear and constant stress, just because their bosses are ego-driven people who like to show off, they have to have the newest BMW editions, they have to have a bigger boat, they have to travel the world the first class, stay in the 5 stars hotels, have the most expensive food and drinks, and clothes, and list just go on and on and on... So I watched all those already exhausted and fearful colleagues of mine taking it all in total luck of any self esteem... Here I am, I give my power over to you, I am your bloody slave... Oh, my God! What am I doing here?!? What this situation is telling me and about me? And how could I help this hypnotized people?

 

 

How could I help me? To get out of there.

It’s just not healthy to hang around in space filled with negativity and fear, it’s not healthy to work all day long with no break, no lunch nor snack, it’s not healthy to keep going on on coffee alone, one or two or many more it doesn’t matter than to try to calm down with some tranquilliser just because it’ll be another long long day and your whole system is disturbed by raging hormones and bloody PMS and you are about to explode but it’s not the smartest thing to do no matter what it isn’t healthy to get back home from work after 12-13 bloody non-stop intense working hours in such unhealthy environment and you are finally safe at home but not very much connected or completely disconnected and you starve for food, for comfort, for peace of mind you starve for change and you knock yourself out with some drink you are not supposed to have as alcohol is not your body strive for not even your mind but it’s not even food either ok it’s just another freaking day and freaking PMS and I can’t sleep and in a bit more than 4 hours I should be back in that office again facing another long long day... We have to survive September and all the events we organised and we face already. And, yes, “this two shall pass...” This two shall pass.

 

 

Monday

Moon day.

                                                                     from Daily Mail 

Dream and Reality

Back in 1997 at this very day today my grandfather’s funeral took place. I was not present at the ceremony as I worked in Italy at that time, and just came back from my holidays. It was complicated to take time off etc and I knew he would not mind. He died at the age of 87 after short illness of 2 weeks or so. As things were progressing rapidly and just less than 3 weeks before he actually died that I last met him and he was ok, full of life, fun, lough and energy (as always) my parents stayed quite about what was going on and so I did know nothing about his illness and his seriously bad conditions. But, somehow, I could sense it.

Unfortunately we did not have almost any relationship when I was a small child and we actually hardly knew each other. Yes, we did live in the same village, but as my grandparents were always at war I was told by my other grandfather (with whom we shared the same roof unlackily) to stay away from him and my other grandmother, his wife. And so I did. I got close to him as adult really. Our was a special relationship. It wasn’t grandfather – granddaughter kind of relationship - not at all. Nor it was kind of strange and twisted relationship you normally have with your relative. We were just two quiet and calm people enjoying each other presence with no much words and no need to say or do stuff in order to entertain one another. We reacted to things and people the same way and we communicated silently most of the time.

Now, very end of August 1997: I’m back in Italy, back to my Italian life and it’s routine, knowing nothing about my grandfather’s conditions. Don’t remember all details but one night I had a dream that he came to say good bye to me for good. He actually said: “I just came to see you to say good bye to you as I have to leave for good.” Then I remember we spread our arms and flew over our island, over our pretty little bay we both loved and were we spent quite lots of time fishing together in silence. That flight with our open arms over those green little islands and that blue sea we both loved and knew so well was so vivid and so joyful that I still remember it. It was so real. Next morning, when I woke up I knew it was real and that my grandfather has left us. I knew. (And I knew I could not explain to others how I knew it! Therefore I decided I won’t tell anything of that to anyone. It was our special thing, just of two of us.)

 

 

This was life changing experience for me, as till this very episode I never believed in anything like this at all. If someone before this told me something similar happened to them I would really lough my ass off and tell them they are acting really silly. This was the first time in my life when I had to confess to myself with no shadow of doubt that yes something out there is real and true, and I should pay attention to it, whatever it may be. It was very first time I did not question it, not even for an instant.

 Something like 1 month later I had another dream: I was back at home on the island, back to his house. I had to go in there but there he was sitting on his chair half transparent. I knew he was dead already and was taken by surprise to see him there and didn’t feel really comfortable at all. So I passed in front of the house without getting in and pretending not to see him. He, too, said nothing to me. Next day, during the day, I went back to his house and there he was again. This time we greeted each other with great ease. He said: “You know, I sow you last evening, but I could see you were kind of afraid of me so I said nothing.” Then he took me thought the house and pointed me some things: “Look what they’ve done since I’m gone; they moved furniture, throw my medicine away, throw my Venice map away...”

Probably I remembered that dream just the same morning and then forgot all about it completely. Never remembered it again, never tough about it... Until I went back home for Christmas, more or less 4 months after he died. I went to visit my grandmother the very first time since he’s gone. It was strange feeling. So, I entered in there and bum all of a sudden the dream came back to me! House was looking deferent but it wasn’t the first time I sow it: it looked exactly as it looked back in that dream when I met there with my grandfather. That very moment, when I actually realised that, it looked to me as I was literally present in two dimensions at the same time, it felt as time stopped or there was no time at all... All that situation lasted maybe just for a few seconds or eaven less but looked like eternity to me. When I asked my grandmother about things from the dream such as Venice map, medicine etc she told me what I already knew.

On Today's World

 

 

 

"Just look at us. Everything is backwards, everything is upside down.

Doctors destroy health,

lawyers destroy justice,

psychiatrists destroy minds,

scientists destroy truth,

major media destroys information,

religions destroy spirituality and

governments destroy freedom."

Michael Ellner

Blue Moon!

Just came back with some photos.

                                                                      At first it was cloudy...
 

                                                                     Than a little bit less...

                                                                            No more hiding!
 

NIkola Tesla

Just came across this! 

The truth is revealing slowly. Thank you!

 

 

We love you Tesla!

Welcome Rain!

I’m so grateful for this little rain that is falling down now. I love rain.

Especially after months of boiling hot with temperatures higher than ever.

 

My childhood was not of the happiest one. There were 3 generations of us people living under the same roof. Our was The Drama House.

My very first taught ever was: How did I get here? Followed by: Who are these people? What am I doing here? What am I here for? Where am I going to? And I am not exaggerating. I do not remember me being any other way.

I’m still searching for all those answers. I never managed to get rid of those questions.

Due to all that drama circulating in our lives constantly on a daily basis I was a solitary child, I searched solitude and a place to hide in order to figure out why all those things were going on etc... I was simply feeling much better off that way.  No one paid any attention to me anyway.

 

Rain was my favorite thing. Any rain, but especially spring or autumn rain. I used to sit in my parent’s bedroom, all by myself, on my mother’s side of the bed near open window and stare in that rain for hours and hours and hours... I loved the profound silence created by the very sound of the rain, it’s wet smell, it’s abundance, texture and miracle of it. I used to loose myself in that rain and all was well.

I did not know that then but now I know that in those moments I was deeply, purely and truly connected with the Source. That’s why I could feel that warm, silent joy in me no one else knew about and that I did not have to explain to anyone. All I knew it was so special. It was all mine. And it was so real.

 

 

My Patchworks My Way

And here are some of my patchwork beauties:

 

 

 

 

I make these on styrofoam.  First I draw a picture on it, cut through lines with scalpel half way through than put fabric in those pushing it tight with use of nail file making sure not to break fragile styrofoam material.

 

 

Some of these have been sold, 2-3 I still keep to myself, but most of these (and some more that have not be posted!) I generously gave away...

 

 

My Paintings

I didn’t go outside today due to all that heat. Most of the day I spent in front of my computer, I came across some photos of some of my old paintings remembering it was a long time I did not paint at all...

 

 

 

 

 

St. Rocco

 

 Most of this paintings as well as some others I haven't posted have been sold (oh, yes, indeed!), some I gave away and some, for one reason or another,  I still keep for myself! (I know, I know...)

 

 

Meteoalarm (Hot, Hot, Hot!!!)

Oh, my God!!!

Here we go again!

http://www.meteoalarm.eu

Back to the Rat Race! (Week One)

My first working week embraced and greeted me with ‘welcome back to the Rat Race planet’ and I was immediately done! The very first moment I stepped in I was first line runner with no time to look back and no stopping time either! And just in a blink of an eye here comes Friday afternoon! The whole weekend off, thank you God!

There was no time for me to complain (as planned) but to work, do what is to be done, keep on running, keep your adrenalin high, keep your stress level high... ('Run, Forest, run!')  

In all that confusion I completely understood I am the most important person in our company (after our bosses, of course!), unlike others I’m free to snap, to get crazy and to say it all. About my disobedience while was on holidays they did not say a word and about problems that were created at that time it’s other peoples fault. Well, that attitude leaves me speechless...  But also shows me I am way too much more important for them than I could ever imagined...

However, stress or no stress it was less stressful than holiday stress.

 

About this abnormal heat outside: I am tired of 40 and something degrees, I really look forward to some cooler temperatures. Finally I am not alone in this, for the change... I used to say I can not stand temperatures over 25 (and it’s true!) and so here I am and here, too, are people who like summer and hot saying they can’t stand this any more!

The thing is we have to understand this is all happening for the reason, our Planet is changing, it’s in its own process, and it’s time for us to get it finally. If we could get it it’ll be all much easier for everyone. Otherwise our lovely Planet will do what it has to do.

In the meanwhile I watch, adore and photograph the Moon!