As I’ve
already said I fear my holidays. It is a very, very stressful time for me. Instead
switching off I have to plug in and pull it much harder than during my normal
working days. When on holidays we should not be disturbed, of course, but we’ve
been told we have to keep our work mobile phone on all the time “just in case”!
Mine rings all the time! Today, Monday, was my first official day off. I’ve
been feeling on the edge already for some time and asked everyone please not to
call me while I’m off. But at about 11:00 am I checked my mobile (“just in case”)
and (surprise, surprise!) found 2 missed calls. I snapped in one single instant!
The stress level immediately overwhelmed my whole mind, body and spirit! I was
lost in anger and frustration! Still
could not believe it is really and actually happening the very first day of my
long waited summer break. (By the way, I already sacrifice most of it by obeying internal rule to take time off when they tell me which could be August only or to be precise from the end of July to the 1st of September and it has to be 3 weeks in a row! This is the very last version when and how I would plan my holidays! But I've made the peace with it, after working there for 4 years. ("These two shall pass"...)) So, of course,
to avoid further problems I called back my colleague at work. When she
explained to me what it was all about more or less the way she sees it I immediately understood it was time to
sit down, switch on internet, get pen and paper ready, load my mobile, call at
least 10 people here and there and try to figure out what it was all about really then call the office back and explain them what to do. In my case it’s always
step by step process. And concentrate. Get focused. Get absorbed and sucked in.
Completely, definitely and absolutely. All that passed through my head while
talking to her and there I was shouting (poor her!) to leave me alone, to tell everyone to leave me alone, as
I have no intention to start working now for most of the day, I’m on my
holiday, for God’s sake, I can’t take it any more and you know what try to sort
it out yourself and if you can’t I don’t care and if my boss wants to sack me because of this he is just bloody welcome. Good Bye. And I switched that
mobile off.
The rest
of the day was already ruined. I'm still stressed and can't shake it off.
Music helps. (Thank you, Van!)
